The Three Musketeers (2011, U.S.)

What an enormous letdown. I haven't read the book or seen any other adaptations, but I am familiar with the story. They seemed to stick to the general idea of the plot. Lots of action, recovery of a diamond necklace to save the queen's neck, all for one and one for all, and all that jazz.

I don't know what it was, but this movie just wasn't good. The cast was phenomenal. I mean, I love Ray Stevenson, Orlando Bloom, and Logan Lehrman; Christoph Waltz is a brilliant actor; Til Schweiger and Mads Mikkelson are two of the best typecasted bad guys in the business; and I liked Matthew Macfayden in the only thing I've seen him in (The Pillars of the Earth). So I just can't believe that such a cast could come off so silly and talentless, which leads me to believe that directing and especially scripting were a travesty. Even the funny lines just weren't funny.

Visually it was often quite engaging though anachronistic. A lot of the hair distracted me too. Bloom's looked ridiculously big, and Lehrman's looked like a wig that was going to fall off at any second. The fight scenes were  mostly well-choreographed, but they got kind of boring after awhile, especially when elements reminded me of POTC choreography. Speaking of which, there were a lot of phrases in the score that seemed to be lifted directly from POTC. I kept thinking to myself, "Oh, I just made that up, I didn't actually hear that." But then I would hear it again or hear another slightly-too-familiar phrase. That kept lurching me out of the story.

Overall, very frustrating and disappointing. Despite the fact that the cast boasts some of my must-follow actors, I wouldn't recommend this at all.

Rating: 2.0

Gamer (2009, U.S.)

Wow.

In a dystopian future, people play an online game called "Society" )like the Sims) where they control real people in a not-so-virtual world. These actors are paid to "work" in this game. Then the game creator, Castle, gets another idea, creating a modern warfare game where the game's "characters" are cons from death row in America's overcrowded prisons. It is intense. Gerard Butler plays a con who was set up for murder and has survived 20-odd "missions" in the game. (If they survive 30, they're pardoned.) Logan Lerman is the 17-year-old gamer controlling him. Ludacris heads a subversive group called Humanz who are trying to expose the evil of Castle's empire.

It is intense, action-packed, thought-provoking. It offers some interesting commentary on modern society, thinly disguised by a horrible future. Of course, at what point does commentary on society's obsession with gaming, sex, and violence just become a vehicle for gratuitous gaming, sex, and violence? It's kind of a fine line, and they toe it here, but I think it works. Because once you finish watching this, you'll start thinking about those things, but then you'll think, "Well bad me for liking this movie so much!" At least that's the feeling I got.

Sometimes it was a bit over the top (i.e. when Kable vomits whiskey into a gas tank and then urinates into it as well, which somehow makes the car work), but for the most part it was excellent, from the science to the action to the satire to the very last plot twist. I was pretty surprised (having only watched this in a quest to find the pre-chick flick Butler), but I really liked it and would pretty strongly recommend it.

Rating: 4.0

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010, U.S.)

You should never judge a book by its movie. One of my mantras, and that definitely goes for this one too.

I will say there were some great things about it, namely Logan Lerman. Ever since I saw him in The Patriot, Riding in Cars with Boys, Jack & Bobby, and The Butterfly Effect when he was kid, I've loved him. If you can act that well when you're 8, you can only get better. He was great in this as Percy. (Although he was actually a bit old to be playing Percy, who's supposed to be about 12 or 13 in the first book. And wow, Lerman's sexy 18-year-old muscles should not be allowed!) His sidekicks were also pretty good. His centaur mentor, played by Pierce Brosnan, was pretty awful—although that could have been partially due to some pretty awful CGI.

The film did capture the adventure and humor of the books to some extent, although a lot of it would be lost if you weren't able to fill in plot holes with knowledge of the book. On the other hand, it also brought some of the settings more alive than I was able to with my imagination when reading the book—namely the Lotus Hotel (wow!), and to a lesser extent Medusa's lair and Hades. And speaking of the Lotus Hotel... Brandon T. Jackson as Grover the Satyr dancing to Lady Gaga was puh-riceless.

It's hard for me to judge whether it could stand alone as a movie since I read the book first, but it was pretty entertaining. Toward the end I found myself glancing at my watch quite a bit, but hey. It wasn't any worse of an adaptation than the later Harry Potter films.

Wonder if it was successful enough to finish the series or whether it will die a painful death like the His Dark Materials trilogy (The Golden Compass).

Rating: 3.5