Snow White and the Huntsman (2012, U.S.)

Ugh. This movie was almost a complete disappointment. Usually I defend Kristen Stewart to all haters, because she really is a great actress. She wasn't bad here, but she didn't stand out either. But neither did Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane, Ray Winstone, or any other great actors that peppered the cast. In fact, I thought Charlize Theron bordered on bad, because everything she did seemed so overacted, to the point of melodrama. Honestly, the whole thing was pretty melodramatic

Perhaps it was the writing or maybe the directing, but it just seemed ridiculous. Visually it was quite stunning, but on the other hand it seemed like they relied entirely too much on visual effects to the detriment of the plot. The nugget of plot was so good too.

It was also very distracting that every other minute something presented a visual reminder of another fantasy film, particularly The Lord of the Rings. (Down to the Tree of Gondor that graced KStew's armor... that was a bit much.) James Newton Howard is one of my favorite composers, and some of his pieces here were spot on, but he didn't quite win my favor this go round, because even his score echoed LOTR occasionally. Altogether strange, and you'd really have to see it (and be very familiar with the trilogy) to see all the subtle echoes. It was disconcerting.

I would recommend this to die-hard fans of any of the cast and people who like their fairy tales nice as dark (as they were intended), and even to LOTR fans who take pleasure in yelling, "Copycats!"

Rating: 3.0

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011, U.S.)

I just don't know what to say about this one, so I won't say much. I think the whole thing is just tired. I loved the first one when it came out (so much that I saw it 8 times in the theater before buying it on DVD the day it came out). I really liked the second and third ones (when nobody else seemed to), though I thought they should stand alone more like the first one did. Now somehow, I was really disappointed by POTC4, while every other review I've read seems to call it as good as the first one or even the best of the four. What?!

Change is good, and their stories were definitely complete, but that didn't stop me from missing Will and Elizabeth. Instead, Penelope Cruz appears as a former flame of Jack's. Now normally she irritates me to no end, but I thought she was actually pretty good in this movie and even had believable chemistry with Depp (who, I doubt I have to tell you, was just as awesome as ever). But then we have her father Blackbeard, played by Ian McShane. They keep talking about how evil he was, but I just didn't see it. He definitely wasn't as evil as Davy Jones, he wasn't as evil as Cutler Beckett. Heck, he wasn't as evil as Barbossa was in the first movie. This was especially disappointing because normally I find Ian McShane to be a very strong actor. So that's it for new main characters. Secondary characters? Forget about it! There was no Pintel and Ragetti, no Annamaria, no Mr. Cotton (or parrot), no midget worth his salt, no Marines-turned-pirates. Even Mr. Gibbs was rather blah in all this. Instead, we have a priest who was captured by Blackbeard, who is constantly preaching about the importance of faith and who falls in love with a mermaid. The preaching was downright annoying, and the romance was a chemistry-less flop. (No pun intended. Get it? Mermaid!)

The plot was also a huge disappointment. The third movie sets up the story of Jack off to find the Fountain of Youth, because he's terrified of death and wants to live forever. Instead, we find him on a quest for the fountain of youth for somebody else, and he doesn't seem that disappointed when it's not for him. That just doesn't make sense for his character, which further illustrates how badly done the characters were in this movie. Actually, I was really excited in the beginning because it started off with an amazing bang. Jack fights with a pirate who's masquerading as Sparrow, and their fight scene is beautifully choreographed and actually someone reminiscent of the Jack/Will sword fight in the first one. Then Jack is captured and brought before the king of England. Their scene together is great, especially Jack's escape attempt when he's almost more focused on getting a bite of cupcake than getting away. (That is classic Jack, so you can see why I had a good feeling about the movie.) Then he's tearing through the streets in a carriage filmed with flaming coal, which was pretty sweet, and I'm still thinking, "This movie is going to be great." And then he hooks up with Blackbeard, and it's all downhill from there. The remainder of the plot is meandering and boring, especially when added to the flat characters. There are extra plot points (like the whole mermaid thing, and especially the mermaid/preacher romance) that could have been left out entirely or at least done much, much better. Then the ending makes no sense at all. What a travesty.

On top of all that, the score was underwhelming. I had listened to the previews on iTunes before seeing the movie, and it seemed very guitar heavy (like they were going for a more modern South American/Caribbean feel) and didn't quite work. In the context of the movie it was passable, but it didn't stand out and it wasn't nearly as memorable as the first three scores. Like the stories, the music is getting tired too.

There were some pretty awesome special effects. I already mentioned the fiery coal carriage careening through the streets. The other awesome thing was that Blackbeard keeps all the ships that he has defeated in bottles in a cabinet on his ship. The bottles were full of thunder and lighting and crashing waves, and ***spoiler alert*** even Cotton's parrot appeared in the bottle with the trapped Black Pearl. Because of this whole bottle thing, a definite sequel is implied. It could be good, based on the hints, but then the whole search for the Fountain of Youth hinted at in At World's End sounded good too. So we'll see.

Rating: 2.5

The Pillars of the Earth (2010, U.S.)

I can't even begin to describe how wonderful this mini-series was. I worried about it doing justice to the novel, one of the greatest books I've read in my life. Thankfully, I had the benefit of watching this several years after reading the book, so it wasn't as fresh in my mind as it could have been, leaving me able to judge the series for itself. It was definitely watered down, but not in a bad way. For instance, the novel largely lost my interest at the end when it spiraled into an obsessive religious recounting of the murder of Thomas a Becket, whereas the mini-series focused on the beauty and glory of the completed cathedral, a much more important aspect of the work, if you ask me.

It was a truly magnificent undertaking. The historic backdrop (I loved that Maud, a personal favorite historical figure of mine, was not made out to be a villain), the setting, the varied individuals who the viewer becomes invested in or quickly comes to hate, the perfect and often moving music (one perfect step shy of majestic, sometimes moving, often reflective of the monastic setting). Love scenes, tragic deaths, wife beatings, and the like were handled well, painting a vivid portrait but still tasteful and not too graphic. (Some of the battles I thought were a little much, with sprays of too-bright blood, but not enough to take away from the overall effect.) In addition to the beautiful scenery, the costuming (and makeup in particular) were incredible. They did a wonderful job of subtly aging characters. And even though the plot was significantly condensed to fit into 8 hours, the writing was often beautiful and the plot clear. Wonderful.

However, the truly overwhelming part of the series was the actors. Ian McShane and Donald Sutherland were as great as I have come to expect. Several actors, particularly Natalia Wörner (Ellen), Hayley Atwell (Aliena), and Matthew Macfayden (Prior Phillip), who were previously unknown to me, were pleasantly surprising and perfect for their roles. Rufus Sewell, who I've seen in many films and always respected, never would have crossed my mind as the man to play Tom Builder, but seeing him I can't imagine anyone else playing the role anymore. He was spectacular. This entire ensemble had such chemistry, melding together to truly bring the world of Kingsbridge to life. You feel the frustration, fear, love, anger, hope, faith, and all the other powerful emotions driving the lives of these men and women as they struggle for happiness in an unfair world. Almost magical, really.

But the real star of the show was Eddie Redmayne (Jack Jackson). I think I'm in love. (In other words, I am greatly anticipating following his career.) I had seen him before in minor roles in Elizabeth: The Golden Age and The Other Boleyn Girl (they sure do love him for British historical!) and something about his face struck me enough to remember him from one to the other to this one. He truly has the most incredible face, beyond perfect to portray Jack. He has very strong jaw and cheek bones (okay, a weakness for me!) that give him just enough sexiness to explain the girls' attraction to him, but he also has the freckles and red hair and puppy dog eyes that give him the air of an innocent, sweet little boy who is originally a near-mute for shyness. Really, what a face. Anyway, as I said I've only seen him in minor roles before, so this is the first time I've been able to see some real acting, and saying I was impressed would be a huge understatement. He was Jack Builder. I can't explain it better than that. From the near-mute young man to the growing artist to the man in love to the fulfilled and successful builder, he played every aspect of Jack's maturing character with such artistry. I was really in awe. (I probably don't need to tell you that there will probably be many Eddie Redmayne films reviewed here in the next few weeks.)

I can only say that this series was sensational. I struggled to stretch it out, and I managed to split it into three days. It was difficult, because I was so engrossed I wanted to completely submerge myself in it, but I loved it so much I wanted to make it last. So three days wasn't too bad!

I can't do it justice. If you love historical drama, well told stories, exceptional acting, beautiful settings (I didn't even mention how extraordinary the cathedral was!), you must watch this. Powerful, wonderful stuff. I just loved it.

Rating: 5.0

Kung Fu Panda (2008, U.S.)

Po, a panda voiced by Jack Black, is chosen as the Dragon Warrior (the protector or the village), even though he's overweight, has no skill at martial arts, and is completely hopeless.

For a kids' film, it was pretty good. There was actually quite a bit of laugh-out-loud parts, and the voice talent was undoubtedly good. It also had a sweet message about being able to do whatever you put your mind to. Good movie for kids.

Rating: 3.5