The Ugly Truth (2009, U.S.)

Wow. So this was supposed to come out in April, and I was really disappointed when it didn't. I figured they pushed back the release date to get a new rating. Boy, was I wrong.

I have never seen a movie so full of misogynistic and overly-sexualized jokes. It often bordered on tasteless, but it remained quite funny. It definitely walked a fine line. Even though it might have been a bit much for a "romantic comedy," it was also a breath of fresh air because it was just so different. Let me recommend not watching it if you're very easily offended. (I can be offended fairly easily, and I was *this close* to offense every now and then.) But for most people out there, it's hilarious and I think you'll love it.

Gerard Butler is a b-e-a-utiful man. I'm a little bit biased in his favor, but I can still say that he is an amazing actor, and he was shockingly believeable as a rude, chauvanistic pig. I've never seen him play anything quite like it (although he has done some out there roles). (Side note: he's looking a bit odd these days, like he's gained a lot of weight but just in his face. Well, more like he's been stung repeatedly in the face by bees. Anyway.) Here I go with my bias again, but Katherine Heigl was Katherine Heigl. Really, I do not understand the appeal. She plays the same silly, 2-dimensional, whiny, anorexic little girl in everything. You don't understand why the leading man, even one as shallow as the lead in this flick, would want to be with her. Casting could have been way better on that front.

And then they live conveniently-ever-after. Really, I liked it—but what more is there to say about a romantic comedy?

Rating: 3.5

Watchmen (2009, U.S.)

I finally saw Watchmen. Seemed like one of those things that you have to see. I'm not a graphic novel reader, because I always find myself having read to the end of the page and not looking at the pictures—therefore I have no idea what's going on. (Though usually I enjoy the film adaptations.) And that's kind of how I felt watching this movie. It was all tangled up, and I'm still not sure I know what happened and why. Also, I thought it was incredibly slow-paced for an action movie; it almost bordered on boring.

But even though it was not my favorite movie of all time, it did have some great points. For instance the music was... wow. They used the most unusual songs in the most unusual places. It was bizarre, and sometimes jarring, but somehow it worked. The ones that stick out in my mind are The "Sound of Silence," "99 Luftballoons," and something that sounded incredibly like Mozart's "Requiem in D Minor" (and I think that's what it was). Very interesting. The score that was composed for the film was obviously designed to blend rather than stand out, as the rest of the music did, but it was well done also.

Of course, thanks to the graphic novel origins, the visuals were fascinating. The use of extreme geographies, from Mars to Antarctica to a dark and filthy city provided interesting contrast. Also, Dr. Manhattan's glowing blueness was just as mesmerising as Rorschach's gritty and ever-changing mask. Those two characters were definitely the most interesting. I don't know if that's just because of who they were or because they were the two who got a lot of deep, rambling narration.

And in that vein, the casting was quite wonderful. Jackie Earle Haley, who I'd never heard of, was especially fantastic as Rorschach. With or without his mask, he was creepy and disturbing and yet oddly easy to relate to. Simply amazing.

That's about all I've got. I do want to make one comment about how annoyed I get with superhero girls and their long hair flying all over the place. Really, it would get in the way, and they would not be able to fight crime that way. I'm just saying.

So, rating. As I said, it had some fabulous elements, from music to acting to cinematography. But the plot was just too hard for me to follow and the film felt way too long. Balancing out, that earns it an "okay."

Rating: 3.0

Prison Break: The Final Break (2009, U.S.)

Prison Break. I'm an addict. At least, I was. I thought the first season was incredible, and the second was just as good. The third was a bit iffy—how many different prisons can you break out of? And the fourth was downright confusing and off topic.

The last episode of the series skipped ahead 4 years, and while the ending was lovely, the missing years left something to be desire. Enter straight-to-DVD filler movie! (Also, they wanted to do a spin-off TV show about a women's prison, and it never happened. I think this made them happy.) I was hesitant about this one, but it was great.

Pregnant Sara is arrested for murder during her wedding reception. (She had killed someone who was about to kill Michael.) She's taken to a women's prison, where the General promptly has a hit put out on her. They think she'll be exonerated, but they also think she'll be killed first. So Michael decides to break her out.

The suspense is as good as it was in the early seasons. The character relationships are back. It's an interesting look at life for the other gender behind bars. For instance, Lori Petty (think Rae from Free Willy or Kit from A League of Their Own) plays "Daddy," the female equivalent of T-Bag. Creepy.

One thing that bothered me was how short it was. The boys spent an entire season (several months) breaking out of Fox River State Penitentiary, and 90 minutes (2 days) breaking Sara out of the Miami-Dade Women's Correctional Facility. They made it seem plausible, but even still... Too quick and easy. I would have loved to see more.

I would definitely recommend this to Prison Break fans, especially ones who have been disheartened by the last few seasons. Others may enjoy it, but they might not understand why characters behave the way they do without knowing back stories.

I was so relieved that this movie was so great, and now I can't wait to rewatch all 4 seasons + The Final Break again.

Rating: 4.5

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009, U.S.)

So, the big movie of the summer (which was supposed to be the big movie of the fall). I went into this with absolutely zero expectations. In my opinion, the quality of the films peaked at 3 (which I love) and rapidly deteriorated toward 5 (which I practically hated). I assumed 6 would be just as terrible as 5, since it has the same director and has to cope with all the plot holes from the previous terrible scripts. (Sidenote: I've always loved the casting, the cinematography, the costuming, etc. The scripts have been what are so terrible!)

Well. It was definitely missing a lot. Some of the things were understandably condensed, but other very important things were left out. This whole book is about Voldemort's memories, very important things that build to the events of the 7th book, and yet they only show two. And one of them is dreadfully unsatisfactory. Secondly, it's called The Half-Blood Prince, for crying out loud. So why does Harry use the HBP's book to make one potion, only use one spell out of it, and then forget about it? Where is the Other Minister? Where is all the continuing panic and confusion of a dementor-infested England? Where is the challenge of getting into the cave? Where is Harry confronting the implications of his destiny and having to leave the people he loves? Where is Dumbledore's Army banding together to protect the school? Obviously, the thing I love the most (namely character development) was sacrificed for something that has never seemed important to me, especially in this series (namely action). But then, what do we expect?

I know that I shouldn't compare the movie to the book, but I can't help it. So here's what I think about it by itself. I think they did a wonderful job of showing that there is a world outside of Hogwarts. Harry hanging ont in Underground stations and flirting with waitresses, for example. Or the amazing fly-through shots they did of London, including Death Eater destruction of the Millenium Bridge. Seriously, that shot was one of the best things ever. They also captured what it's like to be a teenager. All the angst and crushes and giggles and tears.

Also, it was hilarious. It's hard to know how to feel about this, since this was one of the most serious books up to this point. (I have to say, they did do a great job with the darkness in the 5th film.) There were so many silly joke-type things. A lot of it may not have been actually funny (especially to teenagers), but so much of it was, "Ha ha, those teens are too wrapped up with themselves!" Also, Rupert Grint's face. That boy sure can act. He really has been the comedic relief for every movie, but he's reached a new high this time. Then there was Daniel Radcliffe, whose normal up-tight, pained, destiny-inflicted persona got a moment to cut loose after taking Felix Felicis. To act out his luckiness, he acted like he was on drugs. Priceless. And Emma Watson, whose acting has always impressed me more than the two boys', has gotten even more talented. She's subtle, and I think one day she'll be a brilliant actress. (You heard it here first. And if I'm wrong, I'm wrong.) As much as I enjoyed all the laughs, looking back it seems like it took away the strength of the terrible moments, like when one character has to force poison down another's throat, or when an enemy is attacked and his chest ripped open, or when crazy Bellatrix is terrorizing England, or when a major character is killed. Completely lacking in transition.

I already mentioned the kids' acting. About the adults, I will say that they were as great as always. Alan Rickman is unparalleled as Snape. Really, he's incredible. As for new faces, I love Jim Broadbent, and even though he's not how I pictured Slughorn, I was looking forward to his performance. It was a bit disappointing, however. I wonder if he ever read the book, because he really didn't capture the most important (or really only) part of Slughorn's (rather flat) character. Also, the woman who played Narcissa was a) not the beautiful ice queen you would imagine and b) not very convincing in her only scene, in which she's trying to save her son. (And in case you're wondering, I looked it up. She has two children. So she should be able to pull this off.) Speaking of Malfoys, I want to quickly note that Tom Felton (Draco) has always been great at playing the weasel-y, bad apple type. But his portrayal of a bad (but not necessarily evil) kid forced to do terrible things to save himself and his family was incredible. He really captured the tortured, hopeless feeling. He should give his screen mother some tips.

Let's talk scenery. I mentioned before the incredible shots of London at the beginning of the movie. Everything else was as a beautiful as always. The only other thing I want to mention is the portryal of an abandoned Diagon Alley. They did a great job of making it look abandoned (although because of poor scripting, you're not sure why it's abandoned). And then there was Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. The shop was amazing. They had to cut out a lot of what goes on in the shop, but they used it just enough to remind you of Fred and George and their continuing defiance of acceptable behavior. It was garish and loud and very them. (The twins are really my favorites, and I wish they could have featured more. Maybe next time!)

I will cut short this ramble with a mention (as I always must) of the score. So the first 3 were composed by John Williams, someone else did the 4th, and Nicholas Hooper has done the 5th and 6th. I don't remember paying much attention to the score in any since John Williams stopped composing. But I really loved this one. It was dark and ominous and sad, and what little of the appropriate tone that was conveyed in the film came from the score. Good stuff.

It wasn't the book. But ignoring print to screen comparisons (and in comparison to the 5th movie), it was pretty good. I was surprised. (Though I can't wait to see how they manage to fill all the holes they've created in the adaptations of book 7).

Rating: (and I can't believe I'm saying this) 4.0

Walk Don't Run (1966, U.S.)

Obviously, I can't say anything about a Cary Grant film. The man was incredible. However, of all the Cary Grant I've seen over the years, this has to be one of my all-time favorites.

Although the poster probably implies otherwise, this is not about a love triangle. Grant is a (knighted) businessman on a business trip to Japan. Eggar already lives there, engaged to a British consulate employee. And Hutton is an Olympian/architect there for the 1964 Olympics. Somehow, the three of them end up sharing the girl's apartment (which doesn't thrill her), and all kinds of antics ensue. There is some physical comedy, but mostly there are running jokes and classic Grant-esque humor.

Even though the girl is engaged, Grant plays matchmaker to her and the Olympian. He never makes a move on her himself, even though she reminds him of his wife. Instead, he calls home to his wife repeatedly throughout. It's charming.

This was Grant's last film. Apparently, he didn't want to keep acting since he was too old to play the leading man. I think that's unfortunate, because he was incredible in this leading/supporting role, and I would love to have seen him extend his acting chops further. If the rest of his films would have been like Walk Don't Run... Well, it would have been great stuff.

I really can't find the words to describe how great this film was. It's beyond funny. It's got Cary Grant. Go watch it.

Rating: 4.5

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008, U.S.)

This is going to be short and sweet. Of all the Pixar-esque films in the worlds, I have to say that DreamWorks Animation takes the cake with the Madagascar movies. Luckily, they didn't wear out the material in this sequel—there was old mixed with new in the perfect quantities. The voice talent is incredible. They are absolutely hilarious. They were written by adults for children and are good for children but also have jokes for adults. The scores are composed by the brilliant Hans Zimmer.

Oh yeah, and those penguins!

This is what we call laugh-out-loud funny.

Rating: 4.0

A Mighty Heart (2007, U.S.)

I had wanted to see this when it came out but never got around to it. I have to say that I was pretty disappointed. In fact, I don't have much more to say than that. The filming was completely disjointed, which is what I guess they were going for. However, it didn't work at all.

The film is a true story about a journalist kidnapped by terrorists in Pakistan, and his pregnant wife's frantic search for him. It could have been a very moving film because of the subject matter, but several factors worked against it. First, the disjointedness. Second, the focus on police procedure rather than the emotional toll. Third, they tried to convey the feeling of waiting, but instead of the frantic, helpless feeling they should have presented, all they managed was boredom.

I also thought the script was quite weak, which contributed to the problems I just mentioned. A pregnant woman is searching for her kidnapped husband, but the human emotion is almost completely lacking. It is unclear why Mariane Pearl has "a mighty heart," because her limited dialogue didn't give Jolie anything to work with to create the emotion this situation should create. However, Jolie is of course the one bright spot in this film. When she receives news of her husband's murder, her reaction is powerful. That woman can act, and she can save almost any movie.

Although I haven't read it myself, I think I can safely say that reading Mariane Pearl's book might be a better use of your time.

Rating: 2.5

Public Enemies (2009, U.S.)

Johnny Depp. End of review.

Seriously though, I was really looking forward to this film, and with good reason. Cinematography: check. Acting: double check. Score: check. Script: check. Even the historical accuracy, while not always perfect, is still quite good for Hollywood, and it gets a check too.

I can't say enough good things about this film. It was a very serious subject, and they treated it as such. However, there were also some awesome one liners, well-balanced with the rest of the content. The ones delivered by Johnny Depp with his classic straight face/beginnings of a smirk were the absolute best. "There is absolutely nothing I want to do in Indiana," he says. (Of course this is funnier to me than those who have never resided in the Hoosier state, but there are other great lines as well!) The action scenes are terrific, very suspenseful and well-choreographed, but not overly graphic. There was a touch of romance that didn't overpower the rest of the story. And all of the bank robbers were not idolized. They were portrayed as real people with real lives and feelings and problems. Of course you wanted Dillinger to win because he is such a charismatic guy, and you might want to turn to bank robbery too if you grew up poor in Morgan County. (Side note: this is the county where I have my internship.)

The casting was phenomenal. Aside from Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, and Marion Cotillard, there were countless others in more minor roles who were great—Emilie de Ravin, Billy Crudup, Channing Tatum, David Wenham, Giovanni Ribisi... we're talking good actors. Johnny stole the show, of course, but they still managed to hang in there.

The score was also incredible. Usually I'm not tempted to purchase scores from films with so much action (I prefer listening to quiet stuff when I'm listening to instrumental music at home), but this score tempts me. It fit the mood, it helped build tension in gunfights, the romantic theme was touching. Great stuff. I've never heard of Elliot Goldenthal, but apparently he won an Oscar for his Frida score. I'll be keeping an ear out for him.

I can't wait to see this one again.

Rating: 4.5

What Happens in Vegas (2008, U.S.)

Anyone who knows me knows that Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz are on my least favorite actors list. They also know that I'm choosy about romantic comedies, and I never go for stupid ones. So why did I watch this flick? Because I was house sitting and it was on the fancy movie channels and there was nothing better to do.

That being said, it wasn't too terrible. It could have been worse. In fact, the concept was quite good. The biggest problems was the casting, obviously. I imagine that with a wittier (and more tasteful) script and better acting, this could have been a great movie, à la Cary Grant/Katharine Hepburn style romantic comedies. It had that situational/physical/screwball comedy thing kind of going for it, plus a few decent jokes. and again, good concept.

So while it's not a complete waste of time, I wouldn't recommend watching it unless there was something better on.

Rating: 2.5

Burn After Reading (2008, U.S.)

I love Brad Pitt, and that is why I watched this movie. I thought it was going to be funny. Or somewhat entertaining. Instead it was confusing, barely funny, violent, and kind of stupid.

Positive things I will say: Firstly, the acting was phenomenal. The cast was great, and they all played their various levels of paranoia/insecurity/cruelty/stupidity/self-centeredness/greed to a T. As an ensemble, they worked smoothly.

Second, the concept was good, and I have to say that there were some funny moments.

Really, I just don't know what to say after that. Ages after I watched it, I'm still thinking, "What?" But maybe it's just me.

Rating: 2.0

Up (2009, U.S.)

I really, really liked this film. It was funny, sad, beautiful, touching, engaging, lovely. A man who misses his wife decides to go on a journey to South America that they'd always planned together, and he travels by house, attached to a zillion balloons. The possibilities are truly endless here, aren't they?

The animation was awesome. The voice talent was spot-on. Good jokes. Suitable for small children but probably even more enjoyable for their parents. What more can I say?

There were a few parts that were just a bit too much for me, such as the ridiculous talking dogs. Still, the good stuff outweighed these goofy bits enough to make it a really enjoyable movie.

Oh, and the short played before the film, about clouds making babies for storks to deliver to earth, was priceless.

Rating: 4.0

You I Love / Ya lyublyu tebya (2004, Russia)

The number of times I've said I'm not going to let Blockbuster pick movies for me anymore... You'd think I'd've learned by now.

This movie was just insane. I really don't know what to say about it. There was some love triangle going on with two very strange Russians and an even stranger Mongolian. (At least, that's what I think he was.) There were reindeer. Apples in bed during love scenes. Strange music. Trippy gay house parties at the home of prominent politicians. I felt like I was on something when I watched this, and then I wasn't even satisfied with the ending.

I would probably recommend this to people who like weird movies. People who feel the need to watch an obscure Russian film. People who have an apple fetish. Yeah. I'm sure it was supposed to be edgy and artsy, but I clearly didn't get it.

Rating: 1.5